WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
barbara walters just said penis...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
