Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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