He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
false alarm, still single
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
