The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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