Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
