dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
