i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
