I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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