After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
