There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
