My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
