hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
