It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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