I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize