"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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