You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
