Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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