My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize