it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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