she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
