so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
