would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
