I must be too annoying 4 u.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
