Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
