Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
