i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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