i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
