Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
this beer tastes like vomit already
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
