That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
