we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
