you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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