She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
