Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
