yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
