Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
