I'm going to jail i love you
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
