Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
