Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
