how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She said her name was "party"
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
