I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
