Porn is love you can see.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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