just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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