I wish I could punch you in the face.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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