Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
