And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
ttyl tear gas
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
