I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
All the doctor said was why
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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