I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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