can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
