when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
