I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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