So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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