Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
