How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
