I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
