haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
