i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
