if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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