He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
