THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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