Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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