dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Your topless pictures make me question reality
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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